The previous posts regarding the wedding of Steven Sitler and Katie Travis took a lot out of me, and I've been spending the last couple of weeks in reflection, prayer, and anticipation, hoping that the Lord Jesus will somehow intervene. But today's the day, and it appears that the wedding is going forth.
In the meantime, though, I spoke with the pastor of the Nazarene Church in Moscow, which is where the wedding will be held. This church has a long ministry of generosity to the community and care for the down and out, for which I have been truly grateful. I've never met Pastor Eby; it was a private call that no doubt took him by surprise, and in revealing some of what we discussed here, I confess to feeling uneasy. On the other hand, he is likely to be the target of criticism that is unfair, given the circumstances I outline below.
Pastor Eby spoke openly with me, by which I mean both graciously and bluntly, and it's not my intention to harm him by summarizing some of what we talked about. Neither will I interpret how he feels about anything; that's the province of God and Pastor Eby. Nonetheless, when sin is involved, and there is much sinfulness here, it ought to be exposed. Pastor Eby isn't the bad guy here, as I believe will be made clear; my point here is simply to state what I know to be true. If some criticism is rightly deflected from him, that's simply a response to the truth, and I'm glad. Likewise, if readers conclude that the Kirk acted with duplicity, I think that's a reasonable conclusion and one that I hope will provoke sober reflection in this community.
It turns out that his contacts at Christ Church, in arranging for the use of the Nazarene Church's sanctuary, did not mention the particular, special, unusual circumstances surrounding the groom, a convicted pedophile who has confessed to multiple instances of sexual contact with little children. I hope that the pastor well understands, after our half-hour conversation, that he was deceived -- that the Kirk deliberately withheld information that would likely have resulted in a different decision on his part. That saddens me and no doubt wounds him.
It is true that in March he was sent, courtesy of my dear friend Rosemary Huskey, a detailed email outlining what was happening, with primary-source documentation attached. It's also true that Pastor Eby's subsequent "investigation" of Sitler's case didn't involve talking with the parole officer who supervises Sitler and who has formally objected to the marriage -- so he didn't know that if Katie has children, Steven may very well not be allowed to live in the home and will be found in violation of his parole if he is ever alone with his own children. A conservative Christian view of marriage, and certainly the patriarchal view of marriage to which Wilson subscribes, would seemingly disallow a union in which the "head of the household," it's chief priest, possibly cannot actually live in the household he represents, in Kirk theology, to Almighty God.
No, Pastor Eby didn't know that. And while he ought to have talked with the parole officer, I think it's safe to say that the Christ Church elders with whom he spoke acted with just a bit less than full integrity in discussing Sitler's repentance and rehabilitation with the pastor. Given that the pastor was only made aware of Sitler's pedophilia by someone outside of Christ Church a couple of months after the arrangements were made and the contract signed, it's probably safe to say that Pastor Eby went on a pastoral stroll and stepped on a ministerial landmine carelessly and secretively left by his fellow ministers. Lamentably, he'll be left with the shattered, wounded results.
I realize that the world requires that contracts entered into in good faith be honored, but I think the Word supports my contention that this arrangement wasn't made in good faith. I think it's appropriate, albeit painful, to suggest that he was set up, played for a fool, and blindsided. That the source of the deception was a cadre of Christian elders will, I'm sure, cause him to reflect on the integrity of those men the next time he's approached by them.
Because there appears to be a pattern here.
The pastor also did not know that Mark Driscoll, the controversial Seattle pastor whom many evangelicals believe has crossed the line with his blunt, salacious views of marital sex, is headlining the "Grace Agenda" conference that will be held at the Nazarene Church in September. While I find Driscoll's macho, male-supremacy theology abhorrent, I suspect that the Nazarene congregation would find his qualified endorsement of, for example, the website Christiannymphos.com, much more problematic -- but Pastor Eby wasn't told of Driscoll's appearance, so he would not have known of the controversy he would be hosting in his church's buildings.
Unfortunately, he'll be left to explain to his bewildered congregants how it is that their church was used for two events that they very likely wouldn't have approved of had they known the truth beforehand. My prayers are with him. He's a decent man who ought to have been able to trust that the ministers with whom he dealt were also.
I plan to be in prayer today as the wedding gets under way, and I hope that many of you will join me in your homes and in your hearts. No, I'm not going to do the Fred Phelps thing and picket outside the church. For Heaven's sake, if the Lord hasn't intervened by the time the wedding is held, then it will go on, and I will not make a spectacle of it nor support anyone who does. That's not how God works. He works through prayer, and I will be praying throughout the wedding.
Lord Jesus, please -- stop this wedding, protect Steven, heal Katie, and bring about good from a desperately wrong, frighteningly dangerous situation whipped up by the hands of men who claim to be your servants. Only You can resolve this, and I plead your intervention.
Amen.
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