Fat Girls In Bikinis And The Fathers Who Didn't Love Them

He Whose Wisdom Must Not Be Questioned has been busy lately.

A week or so after blogging that Christians who receive any -- ANY -- benefits from the State are "piglets sucking at the teat" of Evil Government, and after a Tilt-A-Whirl cruise through the seamy side of the world, where men and women sometimes adorn themselves with tattoos and piercings Not Approved By Him, Wilson has offered some follow up comments that bear review.

Specifically, and in conjunction with the great Tattoos and Piercings Debate long ago discarded by mature Christians as an unnecessary impediment to the spread of the Gospel, he writes that on a recent trip to Spokane, he and Nancy saw scads of flesh that provoked in him, because he's a righteous, Reformed man, a "ggekkk" of disgust. (I may have misspelled his guttural contempt; it's not a sound I'm that familiar with from the men in my life). It was, I'm just sure, pastorally helpful for him to observe that the fatter a young woman is, the less clothing she appears to wear, and that "stumbling the brethren" ceases then to be an issue -- she's just too gross to incite lust. Instead, she's a walking, "shaking like Jell-O on a plate" mass of Father Hunger unfortunate enough to have never read anything by Canon Press.

Stop me if you've heard this before: Her father didn't protect her, didn't admonish her with the rod of discipline, and didn't lead his family in such a way that she wouldn't then, as she grew to independence, saunter around in halter tops and hipster short-shorts. Or get fat in the first place.

The idea of personal autonomy on the part of believing and unbelieving adults and youths is an idea seemingly foreign to Wilson. Does it really need to be stated here that parents OBVIOUSLY mold, for good or ill, the character of their children? Do I really need to confess that good parents generally turn out good kids, while lazy, abusive, indifferent and hard-hearted parents generally turn out kids who don't do quite as well. Evidently I do, because I'm expecting an onslaught of criticism from those who would quote the Proverbs to me as inviolable, unchangeable, eternal proof that it's perfectly appropriate to judge parents by the way their kids turn out. So, before my email Inbox fills up, let me just say it again: Parents are the first, primary, and strongest models for their children, and generally speaking, the apples, rotten or fresh, don't fall too far from the tree.

Generally.

But "generally" is, to Wilson, a hedge -- a shameful, squirming concession that we evangelicals make because we doubt the Word of God, are embarrassed by it, or need a convenient "out" in case one of our children turns out to be less than what we had hoped, worked, and prayed for -- or less than what Wilson deems appropriately "covenental." But all have indeed sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God, and all who do so after young childhood are accountable for their sins. And it's a good thing. While parents are responsible for their children and their upbringing, for the formation of good Christian character and practice, and are accountable to God for the work they've done in parenting, moms and dads are already aware that it is the individual sinner, parent or child, who must receive the forgiveness of Christ for her sins. Sometimes, a child will do well after enduring dreadful parents. Other times, a kid will rebel and act out after years of warm, affectionate, firm, and Godly nurture.

Sometimes my sons will bring me to tears with their kindnesses or good judgment, especially after I've really blown it with them. And other times they'll do something I disapprove of, in the course of learning to be independent, and adopt habits I don't like -- even when I've been on top of my maternal game. It's that "learning to be independent" that gives Wilson fits when offered as an explanation for, even a defense of, rebellion in young people. Because psychology and pediatrics and brain science tells us that young people must, to be healthy, "individuate" or push against parents, Wilson runs to the furthest corner in proclaiming that the Bible couldn't possibly allow for all of that psychobabble crap -- a paraphrase that, I think, is probably too generous in representing his position.

It's not shocking that even covenant kids have to carve out an identity for themselves, usually in but sometimes apart from Christ Jesus. What's shocking is that there's a congregation of several hundred in this town, and followers by the thousands across the country, who fail to grasp the insult offered them when their pastor weighs in with unquestioned authority on everything from housecleaning to body adornment to receipt of Medicaid benefits to "music to be repented of."

Every good and perfect gift comes from above, brothers and sisters. I pray that you'd begin to look higher -- much higher -- than the pulpit from which your bullying, blustering "pastor" preaches for the wisdom God so graciously intends for you.